Are you there SoCo its me, Dan?
Hey welcome to my blog. You may be wondering why I have this title for this blog? Because Southern Comfort, or just alcohol in general, has gotten me in a lot of situations;even getting me out of a lot of situations. And even when your at your lowest, its there for me. So sit back and relax and I hope that you enjoy.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Why Nicolas Cage is a Horrible Actor: Nouveau Shamanic
Usually these actors get critically acclaimed in every movie they star in, which is fine because they work really hard (have you seen Gangs of New York?). However, when someone becomes too overly eccentric you become overly dramatic or what I like to call "a fuckin disaster." Which brings me to Nicolas Cage, the ipitame of horrible actors. Don't get me wrong at one point Nicolas Cage was a great actor, but I think that Cher smack him so hard in "Moon Struck" that I think he forgot how to be one. Nicolas Cage studied acting for six months having role models such as Robert DeNiro and Lawrence Oliver. Eventually, he said the hell with the acting I think that I'm just going to make up my own method up called "Nouveau Shamanic." I don't even think this is a word in English, French, or Entish (Lord of the Rings) but it's just a made up excuse for being a terrible actor. If you ever watch any Nicolas Cage movie that he starred in begining with the horrid remake, "Gone in 60 Seconds" and any movies after, here are some helpful tips to help you comprehend if your watching a bad Nicolas Cage Movie. Also, a youtube video for your thoughts:
Hooking Up: The Need for Casual Sex Gone?

Friday, April 22, 2011
I'm Going to Tell You Once and For All: I Don't Care About The Royal Wedding!

Thursday, April 14, 2011
Election Reform: If an Immigrant can do it, So Can You

So far, I believe that this solution for protecting voters made by the Founding Fathers is true and thats why we have a government that is so unique. On the other hand, I believe that we have a government that is so confusing and big that its too much to learn about and that we have people who don't care about politics. Unfortunately, these are the people who come out and vote.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Don't Go in the Cave, White Girl!
All my high school and college careers I have been dealing with the people of the Caucuses and I came up with a few reasons why white people are crazy:
1. Killed by certain Circumstances because you need advice or help
This is in movies and in real life and personally I believe that this is why black people get killed in a horror movie first. there are two reasons. First, we try to warn you not to summon someone or mess with a certain voodoo or hoodoo ritual. For instance in the movie Clive Baker's Candyman. One of the parts Helen, played by Virginia Marsden, is attacked by Candyman or Tony Todd. Just then hes out in the hall way and so is her black friend Bernadett who gets killed by the Candyman because Helen doesn't believe in the Candyman. Secondly, we just happend to be in the wrong place at the wrong time because white people need help all the time. For instance, white people are clumsy and they would trip over a gust of wind. But it's always black people in the end who get killed because we have to pick you up and shut you the hell up so we won't get killed. and because you won't shut the fuck up, we get killed.
2. Doing things that your not qualified to handle
Grizzly man comes to mind. In this documentary made in 2003, Grizzly Man tracks a man for 13 summers in Bumble Fuck State Park, Alaska where he harrases and assults bears. This man even goes as far as trying to swim with the bears, PUNCHED A BEAR IN THE FACE, and giving them names like Grinch and David (David is made up, but he punched Grinch in the face). After many warnings by the park rangers, and punching the bear in the face, him and his girlfriend get eatin up by a bear. This is a HOT MESS. Don't touch anything that doesn't belong to you or that moves knowing that it may kill you unless your qualified like Bindy Irwin, her father, or the Crocidile Hunter.
3. Getting lost
White people take a compas, implant a GPS tracker up your butt, or take some flares where ever you go. You people have a habbit of getting lost going to the store, going to someone's house, or going to school. Which I don't understand because most of these places 20 feet away from your house. And then I have to hear about it on the Today Show or on CNN News following a breaking news about a little boy who may be up in a helium balloon somewhere only to be found in the attic somewhere. And stop making up or exaggerating stories too. Because not only will I have to watch a story of you on the Today show or CNN news, but I have to hear follow up stories as well. In addition to getting lost, falling into places where you shouldn't be like your child falling into a well. And the funny thing is, unless you threw her in that well, how in the hell did she get in there? This is a response to little jessica who is graduating somewhere or reached a certian age for a trust fund.
4. Crazy activities that shouldn't perform
I like when white people act like jackasses. I especially like it when white people do things that are considered "jackass like" and make a show called Jackass. Now I know that this is old, but don't copy off of these jackasses, jackasses. This is dangerous and they have a "DO NOT PERFORM THESE STUNTS" in the beginning of each show.
5. Obsessing over certain things
This may or may not have anything to do with this article. I know that white women like to be a princess one day, and even read or watched the movies starring Anne Hathaway "Disney's: The Princess Diaries." About princesses, I'm tired of hearing about Kate Middleton and Prince William's marriage. We are American and we escaped the harsh treatment of the British and became a world power of our own. Therefore, why do we care whats going on, on the other side of the pond? Although on a side note, I like Princess Diana and the hummanitarian work she did for landmines, however, I don't like her dress that she wore for her wedding day, and I'm hoping that Kate dosn't wear something like that for her wedding.
Vampires are another thing that I hate. I don't understand these vampire shows or the people who play them, especially Twilight. I like the director of the first Twilight, Catherine Hardwicke. I like her movies Thirteen and Lords of Dog Town, help me get threw a lot during my teenage years despite not being a girl in the seventh grade. But what I don't like is an awkward movie, with awkward actors, placed in an awkward setting where there is nothing but cloudy. And despite making a movie that did well in the box office, Kristen Stewart who plays Bella Swan is the most awkward, constipated looking girl in the whole world. And she always complains about being an actress taking interviews in British Elle, which is the magazine which people think that American's can't read Queen's English which we could. I want to tell this woman Stewart to Stewart, If you don't want to be an actress or atleast try, then you should have went back into hiatus or back out in general of the last two movies."
Sunday, April 10, 2011
there is a disaster and your worried about is Food
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Momma always said life is not a musical. it's just a cereal and a board game
As a gay man, and yes I'm gay, I like glee. I love the black girl, the two asians, the teacher, the jew jock, the dumb jock, the slutanna, britney bitch, wheels, Rachel Berry (who I was in high school-ask anyone) and the sexy Mr Schuster. I love Ryan Murphy and everything that he did for FX, especially with Julian Mcmahon. I can't look at the arch nemesis of the Fantastic Four without having a doctor patient fantasy (however, I DON'T LIKE EAT PRAY LOVE . AUTHOR=BITCH GIRL STATUS).
With that being said, I don't like other shows that aren't musicals, doing musicals. Especially when it was a medically based drama, where there is more drama than medical. As my favorite show, Greys Anatomy, did a musical episode I closed my eyes when watching it. Not only because Callie had every single injury imagined and had the possibility of dying but, the singing was horrible. AND WHAT IS WITH WRITERS IN ANY MEDICAL MUSICAL EPISODE MAKING SOMEONE HAVE A BAD HEAD INJURY? Scrubs did the same thing, and this woman had a bump on the head. I don't want anymore shows to do musicals.